Most countries are sending criminals to prison. Some people believe that education would be a better solution to crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In most parts of the world, prison is the main tool used to punish criminals. However, some believe that education is a better way to prevent crime. I fully agree with this view, as I believe education targets the root causes of criminal behaviour more effectively than punishment does.
Sending people to prison may protect society in the short term, but it often fails to prevent reoffending. Many prisoners leave jail with no better skills, knowledge, or support than when they entered. In fact, prisons can expose inmates to further violence, mental health problems, and criminal networks. Without access to education or job training, ex-offenders may struggle to find work and return to crime simply to survive. In this sense, prison becomes a revolving door, rather than a solution.
In contrast, education gives people a chance to change their path. For those at risk of committing crime, especially young people from disadvantaged backgrounds, access to quality education can provide hope, purpose, and opportunity. Even within the prison system, educational programs have been shown to lower reoffending rates. People who study while incarcerated often develop new skills and gain confidence, which helps them reintegrate into society. This is particularly evident in countries like Norway, which focus more on rehabilitation and education than punishment, as they consistently have low crime and reoffending rates.
In conclusion, while imprisonment may be necessary for dangerous offenders, education is a far more effective long-term solution to crime. It not only prevents people from committing crimes in the first place, but also helps them rebuild their lives after conviction. Therefore, I strongly believe that governments should invest more in education as a key part of their crime prevention strategies.
Teacher’s feedback:
This is a clear, well-developed essay that would likely achieve a Band 8 or higher.
Task Response: Band 8
You’ve answered the question directly and maintained a consistent position throughout — that education is a better long-term solution to crime. Your ideas are relevant and well-supported, especially the comparison between prison systems and educational outcomes. To strengthen your response even more, you might briefly acknowledge when imprisonment is necessary (as you do), then explore that point just a little more for balance.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is logically organised with clear paragraphing. Your ideas progress smoothly from one to the next, and you’ve used cohesive devices naturally, without overdoing them. One small improvement could be a slightly stronger opening sentence in Body Paragraph 1 to better introduce the idea of prison’s limitations – here is an example: “While imprisonment is a widely used method of punishment, it has significant limitations in reducing long-term criminal behaviour.”
Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your word choice is precise and appropriate for an academic task. Phrases like “revolving door,” “social marginalisation,” and “crime prevention strategies” show a wide vocabulary. To reach Band 9, try incorporating a few more uncommon or idiomatic expressions to further demonstrate lexical sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 9
You’ve shown excellent control of grammar, with a range of sentence types and accurate complex structures. There are no noticeable errors, and your grammar supports clear, fluent communication throughout.
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